Can I fix you?

January 20, 2024

It has been a hot minute since I picked up a needle and thread. I have been frustratingly uninspired. Not for the lack of experimentation with new materials, and exploration of different themes but because everything I try has felt disingenuous. The following is a work in progress and it’s working titles are Can I Fix You? or Armpit to the Soul.

Gold gouache painted fabric under black ‘t’shirt tears.

This is not a functional repair, though I suppose my husband could wear the shirt and it would serve its purpose as an item to cover oneself. The repair is once again a metaphor.
Themes:

Repair
“Fixing”
Care
Body
Functionality

More on this later. In the process of the making, themes become clearer to me and I am better able to articulate.

Observations: The shirt layer is very fragile and as each stitch pierces the fabric it weakens the fibres . The white residue is probably a combination of both sweat and deodorant that have left traces of the body, it is where the fabric is weakest. Finally I am getting gold paint everywhere, it is becoming embedded in all parts of the fabric.

What Now? + What Can I Do?

October 19, 2023

As my Graduate studies intensified most of my work was done in my home and most commonly on my kitchen floor as it reflected my thesis research about domestic labour, identity, and practice of art making. Can one be a wife, mother and artist? I never really answered that in my thesis and it is a subject that I am still exploring, especially now, because; What now?

broom, sweeping ink over kitchen floor covered with paper, with a foot walking through.

If I can no longer use the excuse I am student, ie. not paying tuition, for my eccentric tendencies such as using a household broom or toilet brush to paint. Then who am I as an artist? Do I go back to being mother, and wife first and fit in art making when I can? Or do I continue researching and exploring how one can embrace the these dualities? I know what I want to do, but saying it out loud, even the act of putting it into words on a blog that few will read brings to the surface anxiety, fear, guilt and selfishness.

I worked so hard to get this degree, to go back to how it was before, will break my heart.

What Can I DO?

Keep making art.
Keep learning.
Keep practicing.
Fail upwards.
Start using my voice and saying what I need.

Megan Carroll *Shut Your Mouth* 2020,
Embroidery Thread, Collage, on Paper
8.5” x 11”

Acts of Care Detail: 8”x8” grey cotton fabric, with a 2” hand sewn circular pattern in blue embroidery floss around a small tear that reveals a gold covered layer below.

Final Thesis Show

October 11, 2023

Over the last few years the majority of my writings have been thesis related and on a completely different platform! It was a lot and I did not have the space to upkeep my regular personal website along with my academic pursuits and family responsibilities. Because of this my work transitioned from trauma (something I still want to visit as started with The Body Remembers series) but to what it means to be a female artist within the domestic space. My experiences reflect my status as wife, mother, and what it means to balance domesticity with creativity.

This MFA Thesis Project explores how repetitive domestic labour in the home, predominantly carried out by women and in particular my experience as mother and caregiver informs my MFA research. The Thesis Project artworks range in scale from small handheld intimate embroidered textile pieces to large abstract paintings created on my kitchen floor with tools such as brooms, toilet brushes and rags that are commonly associated with women’s work. I use a minimal colour palette of black, greys and gold to highlight the sombre and never ending actions of daily domestic maintenance. By giving the marks presence and weight, I am demanding that they be acknowledged and the audience feels the relentlessness of activities that never seem complete. I incorporate concepts addressed by artists such as Mierle Laderman Ukeles and her documentation of invisible labour as well as Janine Antoni who physically put herself into the act of art making with her body. Ultimately, my practice draws on these artistic influences to generate artwork that speaks to my lived experience as an artist, mother and caregiver.